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Greetings to all you lovely Germantowners.I have good news for you.I am throwing in my hat in the upcoming presidential race.With help from JBS and his gangster acquaintances,I have established The Friends Of Germantown political party.We don't lean to the left or right,and not sure where the hell we lean.Our mission is real change and hope.No lies,no bullshit,no oratory with teleprompters.We plan to walk the walk !
My qualifications are as follows;MA in Nuttology at the Robert Guarinello school of hard knocks,Happy Hollow University,1954;B.S.in Economics,Villanova university,1960.Street smarts unmatched by any of the other presidential candidates.Thick skin and big gullyounes.Never been intimidated in my entire life.
My weaknesses are as follows;can be rude,crude and socially unacceptable,but trying hard to be socially correct;Get pissed off when the Phillies,Eagles,Sixers,and Flyers lose;Hate the Yankees,Cowboys,and Lakers(used to be the Celtics) with all my heart;Have no patience when the GPS lady says,"recalculate."
I think I can turn this country around in 100 days by kicking ass,if elected.I need your support.We will have a rally on Sat.Sept.8 at Germantown and Chelten Avenues,10 a.m.Cheese steaks with sauce and onions,Hoagies with hot peppers,and pepperoni pizza's will be provided.BYOB,and don't forget your checkbooks.
I am accepting applications for my VP.If you have a tendency to put your foot in your mouth,please do not apply.If interested,please respond to this site.
If elected,I plan to have a cabinet full of Germantowners.I will try to persuade Catherine Manning Muir to be my Secretary of State.She knows how to kick ass,and will do a number on Vladimir Puton,and those wierdo's running Iran and North Korea.If she declines my invitation,Prof. Jim or Rosemarie Rinaldi have great credentials and are not afraid to tell it like it is.To save money,I will only have one czar in my administration.I have known Balls Berditsky since my college days at Nova,and let me tell you,he is one tough dude.He will put the fear of God on Congress if they pussy-foot around while debating issues.If available,Prof.Jim will be our ambassador to Ireland.He might prevent Ireland from default ?
Last,but not least,I plan to make major cuts in defense and non-defense spending.I plan to allocate billions of dollars in the revitalization of our beloved Germantown.I will repeal Obamacare,and replace it with a single payor system,run efficiently by private insurance companies.No way will I allow the federal gov't to screw it up.
I will bring real reform to our tax code,by putting in place a simple one page tax return,and eliminate all the deductions and tax shelters.
I'm Paul Borian,and I approve this message.